I
stole the title of today's post from Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins is the
embodiment of perfection. Kind but firm when needed, sensible, full of grace
and elegance.
Unfortunately, such perfection is not exactly an option for the
majority of us. She is on fact a character of fiction. The only perfect
being known to have walked the earth was our Savior Jesus Christ. So why is it
that so many of us try to be perfect? Why do I try to be perfect?
It
is not really a secret that I am a perfectionist. I've always understood that
perfectionism is an unhealthy way of thinking. For one thing, being perfect is
impossible in this life, so I am just setting myself up for failure. Trying to
be perfect brings much anxiety and disappointment and can really sap the joy out
of everything. I've heard time and time again, don't be a perfectionist, and
yet I still send myself into a panic when things don't go exactly the way I
want them too. I'm getting so much better now, the more I understand the Plan
of Salvation, which I will explain my reasons in a minute, but for me to battle
my perfectionism, I first had to understand WHY I was a perfectionist. Why so
many of us are perfectionists.
Firstly,
we all are unique and come to this world with different spiritual traits and
gifts. I am naturally obedient. I do not like to disobey. I have never been
very rebellious. That is just who I am. I am naturally obedient. That is a part
of my spirit, who I am at my core. It is who I want to be. Completely obedient.
If my spirit had it's way, I would be. But I have a human body, and it simply
isn't possible. And so then my spirit and my body come into conflict and I
become frustrated.
The
other important thing to realize is that before we lived here on earth, we
lived with our Father in Heaven, a perfect being. We lived in the premortal
realm, a perfect place. We weren't completely perfect, but we were pretty darn
close. We lived in perfection with the most perfect being in the Universe! We
were used to it! And then we come down to earth where NOTHING is perfect, and
well it can be pretty traumatizing to some of our spirits, whether we realize
that or not.
And
then a huge part of my being a perfectionist is that I really didn't understand
a very important part of the plan of salvation. That is the fall of Adam, and
the difference it made.
You
see I was under the misconception that when we come to earth, we already have
these bad habits or tendencies that we need to work on and over come in this
life. So basically, if I am lazy in this life, that is a reflection of who I
am, who I was before this life. If I am lazy here, I must have been lazy there,
and if I ever want to overcome that laziness, I need to do so now.
Can
you see how much pressure that would put on me? Because if I acted lazy in some
way, I felt that made me a "lazy person" or a "lazy
spirit." Or if I was uncharitable towards someone, I felt that made me an
"uncharitable spirit."
I
didn't understand the premortal realm and the fall of Adam. You see, we were
practically perfect in the premortal world. We were all Marry Poppins. What
changed that was the fall of Adam. The scriptures call it the curse of Adam, or
the curse of the flesh. When Adam and Eve were first in the garden, they were
perfect. They didn't sin. They had no desire to sin. They weren't tempted in
any way. Because they were different. Their bodies did not permit them to. But
when they partook of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, they fell. They
changed, and the whole world changed with them. They physically changed.
Suddenly they could sin. They were tempted. They felt things like lust, desire,
hunger, envy, and all the other temptations. It is the same with us. We come to
earth and we are given bodies that are imperfect. They come with disabilities.
They come with temptations. They come with illnesses. They are great gifts, but
they are imperfect and cause us to do many things that are less than perfect.
Thus our sins are not a reflection of who we are at our core. They do not
define us. If I do something bad, I am not a bad person.
While
we are here, we are to learn to control these bodies, to control the appetites
and desires and temptations. And some day, we will be glorified. It will not be
in this life. But when we are resurrected, we WILL have perfect bodies. Not
just bodies that no longer have scars or missing hair, but bodies that are no
longer ruled by appetites, fears, lusts, and passions. Some day we will be
perfect, like our Father in Heaven who is perfect. But for now, we can be
content with simple progress. God understands that it is difficult. He knows
the desires of our hearts. He doesn't expect us to be perfect right now. So
long as we repent, He forgives us of our sins. Our sins do not define us. We
are not our imperfections. We are not our mistakes. We are children of God with
the potential to become like him. I know He loves us. In the name of Jesus
Christ, Amen.
