Zero Time

I haven't written in a while because I have simply been way too busy, too stressed, and pretty much just in over my head with work and school. I have not been this busy and stressed since last fall, infamous last fall when I took 17 1/2 credits and only barely survived to tell the tale. Somehow, I haven't seemed to have learned my lesson yet. I really did try to take less credits this time, but my schedule just would not cooperate, and now with 16 1/2 credits and an on-call job, I feel like I am drowning. In the past week I have taken the majority of my midterms and yesterday was my last big midterm. I only have dance tests and my Doctrine and Covenants midterm left. But yesterday...let's just say I walked away numb. I never get grades like that. Even last fall when I was so stressed and busy and I had several mental break-downs, I didn't get any grades like that.
And I'm really not loving where I live right now. I don't know anyone yet. We don't have FHE groups, we don't have Home Teachers, we don't have Visiting Teachers. FHE is always with the ward and it is at the same time I have class on Mondays. I am getting really frustrated with the fact that I don't know anyone. And I'm really frustrated with the fact that I haven't gone running in over a week and I'm supposed to be training for a half-marathon. And I haven't played the piano in weeks! That really really bugs me. I miss it so dang bad, but I haven't had time to play. I am only writing right now in this blog because I found some time before my next class starts.
I refuse to give up though. Everything happens for a reason, and trials are there to make us stronger and help us learn. I will get through this. So far, I have learned that I need to start studying for my botany test weeks in advance and not try to rely on the book to explain concepts to me. One thing I have a real big problem with, is prioritizing which things on my "important list" are most important and need to be done first. You see, when it comes to school work, I consider everything to be most important, even if it is a five point assignment. I try to get every assignment done and on time and perfect, but it simply isn't possible all of the time. I really need to learn to say, "okay this test is much more important than this homework assignment, so I am going to study for my test instead of doing my homework." Instead, I usually try to do everything and stress myself out and freak out when I can't get everything done. When will I learn?
Probably the most stressful part of my schedule is not knowing when I work ahead of time. I am the kind of person who must plan out the entire week well in advance in order to get everything done because there is so much, and not knowing when I work, or knowing when I work but not knowing how long that shift will take, really throws me for a loop because then I can't plan how much homework I will be able to get done that day (which usually tends to be very little). And I HATE it when teachers say "oh by the way you need to do this assignment for homework and it's due tomorrow." NO NO NO! You have to tell me about homework a week in advance. You cannot spring something on me and tell me it is due tomorrow. I have not scheduled to do this assignment today, and therefore have ZERO time to do it.
One good thing in my life is that I have some amazing friends. My roommate Lexi is awesome and is always doing stuff for me and cheering me up. Yesterday she did my laundry! I was so shocked and grateful when I came home, I was close to tears. Saturday I got to spend some time with my roommate from spring term as we made pumpkin roll together. We laughed and I said stupid things, and it was so much fun. Lexi and I still see our roommates from last year occasionally too and that is always fun and exciting and just gives me a feeling of home when I am with them. Yesterday I also got to see my very good friend Erica, and that was so refreshing to talk to her. I love it when you can talk to someone you haven't seen in months and nothing has changed and you can just keep talking on and on about everything. You can really tell who are your true friends from such encounters. I just wish I could make friends at King Henry now. I suppose I'm so busy I wouldn't have time for them anyway, but still it would be nice to feel like I knew just one other person in the ward. I don't feel like I belong at all.
Well I hope this doesn't put me further behind in homework today, but I am planning to go to the temple this afternoon. Hopefully that will calm my frantic mind.
Well that's been me for the past oh three or four weeks. I just keep trudging along and keep praying that things will get easier soon. I am very excited for General Conference this weekend and I am very thankful to be here at BYU and to be learning the things I am learning.