So if you have talked to me recently/read my blog at all, you know that I have been over-the-top busy and stressed. As I have mentioned before, I have felt like I am drowning in school and work. But last week, I started to feel like I was getting a little bit more control over my life. Granted I wasn't scheduled to work at all last week, so maybe that was why it was less stressful than usual. But while I was still busy, I was starting to have a more positive outlook. Friday night, I stayed home like a good girl and studied until almost one in the morning for a Doctrine and Covenants Midterm. It was a lame Friday night, but I actually felt good, because I knew the material pretty well after studying for so long, and I was positive that this would be the one midterm I absolutely aced. I got up Saturday morning, reviewed the material once more, than headed to the Testing Center thinking "I am going to rock this test, and I am going to have a great day!"
And then that beautiful morning turned into a nightmare.
I was told that there were no Doctrine and Covenants tests being handed out that day. I couldn't remember my professor's name, so I went to the computer to look his name up and decided to triple check that the midterm was able to be taken today. Yes, it said in the syllabus that it was open Oct. 16-20. I double checked the date. Yes today was the 20. Kay good, I can take the test. I went back up to the lady to ask once more for my test. "Oh no, sorry, that test closed yesterday" was the reply I got. What? Are you kidding me? It says in the syllabus on LearningSuite that it is open today. "Well you'll just have to email your professor about that, and maybe he'll let you take it in his office, but we don't have any tests here for you to take." I felt so sick. How could this happen to me? I was so upset with the Lord too, I am sorry to say. I did my part! I studied for hours on a Friday night and I was so sure I was going to do well, but now I can't take it?!
I emailed my professor, but you know professors, they don't check their email constantly like I do, and thus I waited all day for a reply, worrying, stressing, unable to enjoy the beautiful day because of the awful morning I had. I went to a Relief Society activity where we carved pumpkins. That was fun, but in the back of my head I kept worrying about that test. I went and spent the evening with my friend Erica and we made very yummy food and talked for hours and I had so fun and felt really happy there, but once I came home, the gloom returned. I checked my email. My professor had written me back, but it wasn't good. I was the only one who had missed the test, everyone else had seemed to get the memo that the dates were changed, and he said we needed to talk. From the sound of the email, it didn't sound like I was going to be able to take the test.
I sat on my couch, too upset to go to bed, even though it was late at night. If only I could withdraw from the class. I had had the thought before, but I was pretty sure I had missed the withdraw deadline. I decided to check for sure. Wow I hadn't! And suddenly the beauty of it lay before my eyes. If I wasn't able to take the test, I'd probably only get a C in the class, which isn't terribly bad, but I want a good GPA so I can get scholarships. That's mainly my biggest concern. But if I withdrew from the class, not only would it not lower my GPA, but it would free up some of my time! I could have more time to get stuff done!
So I looked up the process of how to withdraw from a class. I wasn't going to do it yet, not until I knew for sure that I couldn't take the test. But here is where the REAL blessing came in. I happened to notice while looking at my schedule and the calendar, that because my Spanish class was a block class for the second half of the semester, it could still be dropped. I didn't even have to withdraw from that class, I could just drop it.
I was in shock and suddenly felt such love from my Heavenly Father and such guilt for thinking he had abandoned me. This wasn't a punishment or anything from the Lord. He hadn't abandoned me. He was giving me the opportunity to drop a class-which I prayed would be Spanish and not D&C. If I hadn't missed my test, I doubt I would have discovered that I could drop my Spanish class, which I needed to do. I had been complaining that the Apostles teach us that we should not make our lives too busy, but there was just no way for me to make it any less busy. I couldn't eliminate my classes. I couldn't eliminate my job. But now here was the chance to free up an hour of each day for a class I didn't even need.
In the end, my professor let me take the test, which I did end up acing. I don't know yet what my score was, but I am positive it's an A. I whipped through those answers with utmost confidence. I didn't need to withdraw from the class, and I right afterward, I went and dropped my Spanish class. I am so grateful that I ended up missing the deadline to take that test, because it turned out to be such a blessing! The Lord is looking out for me, but his plans are different than mine, and sometimes don't make any sense in the process, but in the end, he really does know what's best for me, and if I give him the reins, he will lead me to the best possible outcome.
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